I wrote this last week, but think it is worth sharing here.
It has been 3 months since my Brian took his last breath. I can not
explain it, nor am I going to question it, but I have felt better this
last week, more like "me". Fewer tears, more energy, I have actually
been thinking about Christmas.
Then it happened, the hug.
We were at the Chiropractors office, a friend of my husband (who was
also a Chiropractor) and as we started to leave my 8 year old son turned
back and gave Paul a hug. It was a simple gesture and so very sweet,
but it spoke volumes. This is my child who does not talk about his dad
and has rarely shed a tear since his death. This hug, this simple
gesture had me in instant tears. Tucker misses his dad. I know that all
of our kids do, but that hug just showed how much.
I wish I could take their pain away. I wish I could fix this for our
family. I can't do either of those things. What I can do is make sure
they know that I love them enough for both of us.
What I can do is make sure I give them more hugs.
It is remarkable to me how children process things such as death, loss, grief, etc.
ReplyDeleteIn that one small act, he spoke volumes to you, to your friend (no coincidence that he was a male friend of both you and Brian), and to all of us reading this.
Your son felt safe in this expression of grief, loss, ...and love at the same time. As his mom, you have created this safe place for him, even though it is not the way we, as adults may express ourselves.
Take pride in knowing your children realize you are doing the best that you know how...and in turn, so are they.
God Bless You.