Daylight savings

As of yesterday I have been a widow for 14 months.  It is hard to believe that it has been that long.  Today, for whatever reason, I am having a BAD widow day, missing my Brian more than usual.  I can't explain it, sometimes the crushing sadness just hits for seemingly no reason.  Though even in the sadness, there are funny memories that make me laugh, and today daylight savings brought one on....

Several years ago Brian and I spent a Sunday doing things around the house.  No tv, no radio and we didn't go anywhere.  We just hung out at home.  9:00 pm comes around so we sat down to watch the X-Files, one of our very favorite shows.  The X-Files was just ending, and I remember saying to him "Maybe they showed an extra one for some reason".  Then the news came on, huh?  We looked at each other in confusion and then realized that it was daylight savings and we had "sprung foward"!  We lost an hour in a matter of seconds and both laughed hysterically at the fact that we spent our whole day not knowing what time it was!  Of course, then we were really bummed that we had missed our show, haha!

I miss my Sundays with Brian.  I guess today I am missing him just a little more.....My winding path of widowhood is a little curvier today and I have cried enough tears to form a stream next to it.  But then I remember the silly, goofy things like not knowing it is daylight savings, and a little smile crosses my face through my tears.  Tomorrow will be another day and hopefully my path will level out and the sun will make my river of tears sparkle....